All Sorts of Fireworks

I'm PETrified of lightning, ya'll. Friends usually razz me with their fingers all pinched together making a "kew kew! kew kew!" sound. It's bad. There's just something about the thought of a huge bolt of electricity striking me dead that, oh I don't know, SCARES ME TO DEATH. (no pun intended)

Let me insert a little factoid here:
"A single lightning bolt can be as hot as 50,000 degrees Fahrenheit - hotter even than the surface of the sun. Lightning will usually strike the highest object in area. This includes trees, antennas, a boat on a lake, or a person standing in a field. "

So, with that in mind, you'll understand why Saturday evening was one of the most terrifying nights... of. my. life.

Our friends asked us to go out on their boat with them. The sky was clear. Yeah, that lasted for about 10 minutes. Outta nowhere, a ginormous (yeah, really big) dark cloud settled over us and rain drops started to tickle our arms and legs. No worries. Love swimming in the rain. Woo hoo...swimming in the rain on a warm summer evening. Um, not so much. My friend, unaware of my abnormal aversion to a painful, lightning-related death, said "Ooh! Lightning!" My heart skipped a beat..or ten. Then another bolt appeared.

Now let's take stock of the situation, shall we? There's four adults, three kids sitting in a boat (lots of metal) out on an open lake in a lightning storm. What's wrong with this picture? Did I forget to mention that the waves are so big in the lake that the speed necessary to get us off the water quickly is requiring me to hold on to a METAL handle to keep from being tossed out of the boat. Yeah, color me the blonde with the big red target on her bathing suit screaming, "O.K. Lightning Boy! Come 'n get me!" I'm just sayin. My husband, compassionate soul that he is, is also pulling the "kew kew! kew kew!" stunt from the back of the boat. Gotta love that man.

We pull into their dock and, due to the lake being too low, we're four feet out into the water and have to wade in. The rain is pouring, the bolts are striking and the kids are fighting over who is going to let the ladder down for us to exit the Boat o' Death. Are you kidding me? A panic attack quickly approaching, I contemplate which small child I will have to toss overboard to get to that ladder.

I'll pause here. Ever wondered what you would do...how you would react...in a Titanic-like situation? The tragedy is in full swing and you have two choices...to be the coward who got in the life boat or Jack Dawson who stays behind so that the life of the one he loves can be saved? Yeah, well, I saw how I would react and ya'll, it ain't pretty.

O.K., forget the ladder, I jumped over the edge of the boat (after picturing my butt hanging off a METAL ladder that is rooted in WATER with the LIGHTNING striking around me) and grabbed my child to run uphill for cover. We made it and all were safe (yes, even the poor children who I contemplated tossing overboard. They were spared as well...no thanks to me)

But, the evening was not lost. The storm passed. We once again boarded the boat (no longer a deathtrap) and found the perfect swimming spot and enjoyed the rest of our outing swimming in the calm waters and laughing at our experience. And, to cap off a perfectly-perfect end to the evening, we were treated with a surprise fireworks display right above us courtesy of some houseboats docked nearby.

All sorts of fireworks occured last night. The first kind scared the everlovin' wits out of me and the last kind...well, they made me happy to be alive, floating on my back in a sea of darkness, laughing with friends and watching explosions of color fill the sky.