Saturday, August 28, 2010

One of Those Nights...

The air is thick outside
And a melody of crickets
Is pouring in through the
Open screen
A distant chirping
Beckoning me to come out and play....

The music fills my mind
Each lyric a dusty road
Full of promise
Unfulfilled dreams
Broken hearts
Yet soothing to my soul....

This is one of those nights
When time has no value
When thoughts invade
And the rebellious me
Fights sleep and instead
Chooses crickets and music... my soul dances.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Abercrombie Ad or Momma Gone Mad?

I couldn't resist.

I looked at the clock and it read 4:18pm. Daniel's bus would be pulling up any minute and I was more than excited to hear how his first day of school went. But, I couldn't let his homecoming be just like any other day, could I? This was the First Day of Third Grade. A surprise attack was clearly in order.

I changed into a tank top and the bottom half of my bathing suit and took my position in the bushes at the front of the house--strategically placed next to the spicket. Do you see where I'm going with this? Oh yes. The boy that always seems to wrangle the hose from me at night and spray me was gonna get a taste of his own medicine. I was a woman on a mission.

About 10 minutes in, I got tired of crouching on my knees in a mixture of prickly holly leaves and bark and leaned against the side of the house to wait. I suddenly realized there I was, hair all tousled, white tank top, black skirt, sweat on my brow, leaning against a brick wall with a garden hose in my hand. I chuckled as I imagined I was posing for an Abercrombie ad (that would of course be shot in black and white). I wasn't a mother that had lost her, no....I was a cool model for a teenage clothing line. Insanity is a beautiful thing.

So...4:20 came and went. So did 4:25, 4:28, 4:30 and 4:35. His bus always came around 20 after last year so my Momma-worry was about to kick into overdrive when I spotted the familiar golden yellow cheesewagon coming down the road. The lights started a-flashing and I dropped into strike position and waited on my victim to make his way up the long grassy hill that is our front yard. I slowly turned on the water so as not to call attention to my whereabouts. And I waited. And just as he crested the top of the hill I lept out spraying him the best I could as he screamed, dropped his backpack and darted about trying to avoid getting wet. The look on his face was priceless. He clearly did not know what hit him and I couldn't stop laughing. At one point he had the nerve to yell "is that all you got???" Oh yes he did. So what started as a surprise spray attack turned into a full-on water war right there in the front yard.

Yes, it's true. I probably shoulda had a plate of cookies ready and gently hugged him as I inquired about his first day. But, that would have been nice and normal and wouldn't have involved garden tools.

Where's the fun in that?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Romance and Fruitloops Go Hand in Hand

I have written before about the romance that has been brewing for over a year between my youngest and the love of his life (all 2 years of it) Izzy.

Well, after a brief separation caused by Jacob moving up a class, they are reunited.
(cue the music) "Reunited and it feels so goooooood...."

OK. 80's ballads later. This is good stuff.

So, I take Jacob into his class this morning and they were seated at the table having fruit loops. As soon as we walked in the door, several of the girls started crooning "heyyyyyy Jaaaaacobbbbbb" to which Jacob responded by grinning shyly and hiding his face in my pant leg. Then, he spotted his woman.

He pulled out his chair, sat down right next to her and that's when it happened. Izzy reached out her cute little hand and said..........

"Hi, Jake-ee-poo!"

JAKE-EE-POO???? Seriously? Bwahhhhhhhahaha! This chick is 2 years old and she's addressing my son as Jake-ee-poo?


They grow up so fast. :)

Monday, August 09, 2010

Is That a Closed Sign on the Door?

The only dividing line between my work life and home life is a single french door. As much as working from home has its advantages, the line between my two worlds often blurs and I find myself sitting at my computer more often than I like...or need.

Well, today I did a couple of things you might consider funny...but I succeeded in finding a balance in "wife and mommy Katie" and event planner Katie. And it was nice. Very nice.

First of all, I used the french doors that open onto the deck from my office as my entrance and exit all day. As I returned from dropping the kids off or when I went to the store before picking them up, I used this door instead of going out of the laundry room as usual. And, as I suspected, it felt like I was going to/from an office instead of my house. One might say I am playing mind games with myself. You could be right...but in my quest to focus on work during the day, it was a huge success.

The other somewhat drastic but creative attempt at re-jiggering my thinking was the sign Keith found on the french door when he got home from work. It simply read "KB Events, Inc. -- CLOSED-- will return in the a.m." He smiled and chuckled at my tactic. But worked. Instead of having to swing by and pick up the boys on his way home then walking into a wife sitting at the computer without a clue what she's making for dinner...I had closed down a little early, gone to the store, picked up the makings for dinner, picked up the boys and was cooking with them when he got home.

Not an earth-shattering scenario, you say?

For me, it is. You see...I have been majoring in the minor things for far too long. And tonight was my first step in the right direction. The house was spotless (thanks to having company on Sunday--honestly), the laundry in progress and a healthy non-restaurant meal was on the table. Notice I said TABLE and not coffee table. We talked as a family and laughed and discussed our day. And while Keith and Daniel ran to the store to pick up a few school supplies, Jacob and I spent some quality time together. We played and did bathtime and sang songs and read bedtime stories and then he drifted off to sleep. It did my heart good and was just what I needed after an all-too hectic few weeks.

I know there will be slip-ups and the lines that I am working hard to reinforce will once again blur in my quest to be all things to all people. But all I can do is take baby steps in the right direction. And, one home-cooked meal and lullaby at a time I'll start to feel like my old self again. Or...maybe my new self?

Either way, I like it.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Getting a Grip

I like writing about the little things...little everyday things that make life interesting and fun and memorable. I love writing about giggles and butterflies and clouds and rainbows... but there is a darker side that I sometimes just cannot ignore.

This morning I have been a bear. A growly, snippy, not-much-fun-to-be-around bear. The tone of my voice and the reactions I have had to even the littlest thing have made me want to get away from myself. I can only imagine how the three men in my life have felt.

I know it's PMS. I'm 100% sure. But that is no excuse. I just have no way of explaining to my poor husband what it is like to feel this way. The only description I can think of is to be trapped behind bars screaming to get out and knowing that the people standing all around you can't hear your pleas. I KNOW I am behaving harshly and as soon as I yell at one of the boys or snap at my husband, that little voice inside (behind the bars) is screaming "I'm sorry! I know it's not your fault I can't fit into my jeans! I know you don't deserve this attitude! I'm really sorry!" But something won't let those kinder words surface.

I could also blame our crazy life right now. Some days it feels like I am trapped in the fast lane and no one will let me over. Life is passing by at an alarming rate and I keep passing the exits but am going too fast to get off. The laundry mounds, the milk rings on the coffee table solidify and my to-do list grows as fast as kudzu on a Mississippi telephone pole.

It's time for a change.

But the first thing I'm going to do when my men return from the breakfast I forced them to go to without me is hug each one of them and apologize for my behavior this morning. My faults are not their fault. I am going to make this a good day. We don't know how many of these we get in why waste them giving in to insecurity and the whims of moodiness?

It's time for me to get a grip.