OK, it's not often that I hop up on my soapbox (at least not on my blog). But a clip I just watched on the Today Show all but pushed me up here.
A woman who is making headlines for being a 60-year-old mother of twins was just interviewed. She was sitting in the hospital (looking "fabbbbbbulous" according to Meredith Viera) and it was apparent that she felt the need to defend her decision. But, instead of arguing that her strong desire to nurture or mother another child--or in this case, two children--led her to want to do this....she jumped up on her own soapbox ranting about women's rights. But, it was one comment that really got me: "I just want women to know they can do this, too. That's the reason I went through with this." Huh? So, was this pregnancy born out of love and a maternal desire to nurture or was it simply a campaign to get attention for a cause?
Yes, I have never been able to get pregnant...but that does not color my opinion here in the least. I just felt sorry for those babies...knowing their mother will be 70 years old before they hit middle school... high school graduation? She'll be nearing 80. She could live to 90 and they'd still only be 30 years old. I lost my Mom at 33 and I can tell you it hurts.
I guess it's really none of my business. I just pray she did it for the right reasons and those kiddos will grow up with a mother that is actively involved in their lives. 'Nuff said.
5 comments:
Don't feel bad about being on your soapbox. Whenever I see stories like that on the news it makes me angry too. I think having a child at that age is really irresponsible. There are just too many things that can happen when you get older, and your young child shouldn't have to deal with that. Besides the possiblity of death or sickness when your child is very young, will you even be able to play with them and keep up with them like you would if you were younger? And anyway, why should this be seen as some sort of amazing accomplishment? So she got pregnant and went through childbirth at that age, the bigger accomplishment is going to be raising them and being involved in their lives like every child needs. I agree with you on this issue. I don't think this lady is any kind of hero.
let me crawl up on that soapbox with you! i have a cousin that married when she was 30 and her husband was 60. they had 2 sons together and i have often felt sorry for these boys because they never had a dad to play baseball with them or run around in the yard. matter of fact, most of the time, he has not been able to be active in their lives because of illness. so, i'm with laura, let's not give this woman accolades because she gave birth. I mean, so what? MILLIONS of women give birth every year. let's go back and check in on her and the children in twenty years. was she able to be the dugout mom for their baseball team? or be their soccer coach? or run them to and from ballet and gymnastics? or teach them to ride a bike and then go ride with them? and what are the children going to go through on career day or field trips? and when they’re in their teens, how in the world will she even come close to relating to them and what they’re going through? will she be able to be there for them on their wedding day? for the birth of her grandchildren? and if she has other children/grandchildren now, how does this affect them? there's so many levels to this, that i must stop now. (climbing down...)
On the other hand, since I am struggling with infertility myself... this story gave me some hope. (I am not nearly 50, but I am on the older side of childbearing.) Hope that miracles can happen and it's not too late for me. As for how she will parent, I have no idea. My grandfather is 80 years old and he and his wife babysit for their great granddaughter. He is so eager to have tea parties, to take slow walks, to spend time smelling the flowers in the garden. It's amazing and she is so lucky to be cared for by people who have time to do things. I know her parents are too busy to do these kinds of small things as they have to work.
Just another view...
I am not so sure about the obsession with this woman's age. I am not even sure that I read the same story. I saw it on cnn and the today show web site. She said that part of her reason was to have siblings closer in age to her six year old (she has done this before) and to be a role model for her daughter who by the way disapproves. I have heard other mothers state this desire for siblings for their offspring. Lets just look at it objectively. She and her husband are professionals and obviously have a lot on money. They could afford to go to S. Africa for invitro. She can afford to go to the gym, which her daughter was afraid the babies would infringe upon. She looks and feels in great shape. Probably more than her more overweight younger counterparts. I gave birth at 37 and at 41. My doctors told me it is more to do with how good of shape you are in rather than your age. Furthermore who is to say how old the lady will live to be. Would you have loved you mother any less if she were ten or twenty years older? And losing a parent at any age is hard. What is harder I think is to lose them while they are still living via Alzheimer’s? It’s not about how many team mother positions you can fill. It’s about loving them,giving them values and making responsible adults out of them. Finally it is amazing how quick to judge we women can be when it is a fellow woman who only wants the same things we want. Maybe that is something we should let God be responsible for.
I can't even imagine. 60 might not sound very old - maybe it is the new 40? But when you point out that she will be 70 when her children are elementary school age, that really hits home.
I agree with you. It seems like this woman is pretty misguided. That she is thinking of herself and other women approaching their golden years. Everyone OTHER than her babies. Who is going to take care of these little ones if they lose her?
AND if her real motive was siblings for her other child, she could always have adopted older children (maybe a few years older than her other child). There are many many who need homes.
Definitely not something I would consider wise or selfless, which are just about the two most important qualities a mother should possess!
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