Monday, June 30, 2014

There is a Reason the Word Painting Starts with P-A-I-N

There are a few things in life of which I'm certain:
  • Camping is better in the spring and the fall
  • There is no substitute for homemade vanilla ice cream
  • You can never have too many black Sharpies
  • People with OCD tendencies should never attempt to adhere painters tape
    to walls or ceilings or really even attempt the whole painting thing at all

Let's chat about that last one, shall we?

You see, I'm not a perfectionist. But, I do have enough OCD in my blood to know that the task of lining up blue tape perfectly against the edge where wall meets trim or wainscoting is a task that should not be done by me. EVER.

In my take-charge, knock-this-out goal of painting the dining room in the new house tonight, I took delight in preparing my workspace, arranging my brushes, roller, paint can and trim tools JUST SO. And then I attempted to apply the lovely blue tape to the walls. I'm pretty sure I invented new cuss words as I tore off little pieces to "patch" up the corners and to even out my bumpy spots. Finally, I was ready to paint.

And paint I did. Or, paint I TRIED rather. I took delight in pouring the thick greyish blueish paint into my newly-purchased paint tray, attached my roller and went to town. Because I am a professional (cough, choke, hack) I expertly swathed my paint onto the walls in the classic "W" pattern known worldwide as the gold standard in painting techniques. (or, known as "I watch too much HGTV so I think I know what I'm doing when, in actuality I have NO IDEA what I'm doing")

Everything was coming along OK until it came to the trim work. Even with my handy dandy trimmer/edger paint thingy I still managed to make it look like a 2nd grade art project. How do painters do this for a LIVING? I kid you not. I can imagine no greater punishment than being sentenced to painting walls for a living. I'd lose my everlovin' mind.

So, I hereby take my hat off to professional painters everywhere. It takes more than a cute pair of overalls and a bandana in your hair (isn't that what they wear in all the cute painting ads?) to pull off a successful paint job. It is back-breaking, frustrating and detailed work for which I will be seeking professional help tomorrow to tackle Jacob's room. Yes siree. 

I'll unpack boxes, hang pictures, even move heavy pieces of furniture but this painting thing is for the birds. Besides a killer arm workout, I see no real value in taking away a perfectly good job opportunity for someone who knows what in the heck they're doing. Let's think of it as my selfless attempt to stimulate job growth in Coweta County. I'm such a good citizen.

Isn't rationalization is a beautiful thing?

1 comment:

Tonya said...

LOL! CW says those trim paint thingies are "bait & switch" & paints all trim with a brush. We painted together once on a Habitat for Humanity house. It didn't go well! Miss you, friend!