Hello Insomnia, My Name is Katie

OK, am I preparing for the sleepless nights that accompany the arrival of an infant? I'm supposed to be soaking up every last ounce of a full night's sleep that I can. But, noooo-sir-ee, here I am at 1:45 in the a.m. wide awake.

My husband is nestled all safe in his bed while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. And my son? Fast asleep for hours and hours now.

So, what does one do when one has complete silence and a house "to herself?" Catch up on Tivo'd shows? Give herself a pedi while polishing off a bowl fo American Idol Birthday Cake ice cream? (yes, it was an impulse buy if ever there were one) Oh no...the self-proclaimed freak in me decided to go down and "clean out" what will become our Guest Quarters in the basement. (In case you're wondering, I capitalized Guest Quarters to make it seem more appealing than "The Room You Stick Comp'ny In Down in the Basement")

As usual, I digress.

The BOXES upon BOXES of S-T-U-F-F pouring out of the closet in the soon-to-be "G.Q." was appalling. You know the closet I labeled as the place where I dumped all the things we don't have a place for? Well, folks...it's because this one was already taken. FULL. No Vacancy for the potpourri of items that we don't have a place for but don't wanna toss.

So, I started digging. I can't possibly describe the vast array of things I discovered. But, to give you just a hint of what I uncovered....here's a sampling from one of the boxes:

3 spools of thread

2 extension cords

1 DVD movie of our first visits with Daniel --for which I have been searching for forty forevers!!

an iron frog paperweight

4 pairs of scrapbooking scissors

an anniversary card I gave Keith in 1999

Box o' Shout Wipes

Fifty-leven pens and markers

fabric from when my sister-in-law Tonia and I were going to be all craftsy-like and make those dry mixes in a Bell jar for Christmas gifts...oh yes, those were the days.

My Christmas Card list from 2002

and....a stick of gum

Y'all, I simply cannot deal with such matters. I want desperately to have a place for everything and this concoction of loose items was about more than this stressed-out-woman could handle. I made pile after pile and left it as a "to be continued" project. You know, because sorting and tossing and putting that many diverse things away in one night can wreak havoc on a frazzled Mom's already fragile psyche.

So, I brought the DVD of Daniel's first days upstairs and popped it in. Oh my goodness gracious...look how small he was. The video footage of our time in the orpahange brought tears to my eyes. (Yes, I know...you're thinking "Katie? Cry? No way!")

Yes way.

After sobbing for the duration of his video, I got up and climbed the stairs to Daniel's room. There he was, outside the covers acting like he has even an ounce of meat on his bones to keep him warm, (which he does not) and sleeping peacefully.

Daniel, if you're reading this years from now I want you to know something. The love I feel in my heart for you overwhelms me at times. Watching you just now, I had the urge to protect you from anything that might make you sad or hurt you in the future. I wanted to wake you up and talk about Transformers and all the things that make you tick right now. I wanted to hold you and tell you what a difference you've made in my life.

I also wanted to reassure you that, even though there will soon be another child in our hearts, he could never replace or dim the feelings I have for you. You are our "first born." You are the reason my heart knows the true meaning of unconditional love. You are my son... and I couldn't love you more.