A coworker and I used to have this mantra we'd shoot back and forth to each other in jest..."It's All About Me." I have used that as a joke for some time; however, in this particular circumstance--meeting birthparents who have chosen us to raise their child--it's no joke. In this situation, it couldn't be LESS about me.
As I've mentioned, I've been struggling with anxiety and nerves as we move ever closer to the possibility of adopting our second child. Well, today I listened to a message at church that changed the way that I will choose to view this entire process.
Our pastor was addressing broken dreams and how we deal with the disappointment, hurt and oftentimes despair that soon follow. This sermon could not have come at a better time. He spoke of his encounters with individuals who have had their dreams ripped from them and yet their faith remained strong. In fact, one of the most powerful points of the message was to "avoid the pitfall of wrapping our faith in God around the fulfillment of our dreams..." Isn't that an easy trap to fall into sometimes?
Using statements from this morning's message, I'm determined to "let God do to me what seems good to Him...it's not MY will, but THY will be done."
So, here is my prayer about this adoption:
"God I trust you no matter what happens tomorrow or in the next few weeks as this process unfolds. God, not my dreams, but your will be done. I will receive whatever comes as coming from the hands of my Heavenly Father. Thank you, God, for continuing to pursue me when I wasn't worthy and for loving me when I wasn't very deserving."
And then, we closed by singing Matt Redman's song "Never Let Go." I found out that he wrote this song after his wife had miscarried. It is not simply an anthem written by a Christian to whom nothing bad has happened. I sing it (and play it here on my blog) as encouragement for my anxious soul..........
"And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Oh no you never let go
Through the calm
And through the storm
Oh no you never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no you never let go
Lord, you never let go of me........."
I will keep you posted on our meeting. Thank you for all the prayers!
6 comments:
What a great message. Isn't it wonderful how God meets us where we are at and puts people in our path to remind us of his love and will for our lives.
I will defintely be praying for you tomrrow. You have a great attitude, however i am sure you will be relieved when it is over.
Blessings,
Julie
What a wonderful prayer and a wonderful outlook!
I will be praying for you!
Beautiful, Katie.
I'm praying today!!
We have such an awesome God! I'm reminded of Psalm 139:5, "You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me." Also verse 16, "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." God knows your future and He's not going to let go of you. I'm praying for you today!
Katie,
Praying for you and Keith today! I looked up at the clock as 11 o'clock drew near and asked friend and family to keep you all in prayer today. I pray for peace in your heart and that God will hold you close to him today and you feel that presence all around you. I hope this family falls in love with you all, I can't think of a better more deserving family. I love your attitude and outlook, that is what will get you through this no matter the outcome. God has special plans for you. We are praying for a this couple too, that they see the family that we all see and know without a doubt they have chosen the right family to raise their child.
Hugs to you!
Katie,
Your blog yesterday couldn't have come at a better time for me. Thank you for reminding me that it's not "all about me." You've been on my mind all day and I hope that today went great! I can't wait to hear how much they loved you...
Betsy
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