There is a sure sign that my hubby is not here: there is toilet paper on the rolls and they are all going in the correct direction (over the top-- thankyouverymuch).
Seriously, the transition "up north" began on Saturday when a truck pulling a U-Haul trailer pulled out of our driveway. D. and I waved goodbye and I wiped away a tear before turning to go inside. Sure, he's been on business trips plenty of times--as have I--but this time it felt different. And yes, he'll even be home on the weekends until we're all together...but it still felt different.
Even now. As I sit here at my computer in the wee hours of the morning, I can usually hear his soft breathing as he sleeps. But tonight, it's quiet. Very quiet. Deafening, almost. There'll be too much room in that bed when I crawl under the covers shortly and when I wake in the morning I won't hear his razor humming or receive my requisite good morning kiss on the forehead. I'm really quite sad.
One of the hardest parts is simply having him as a back-up if needed. From brushing D.'s hair while I change J.'s diaper to helping in the kitchen or even taking out the trash... it's different without that "safety net". I likened getting ready for church this morning to one of those performers who tries to keep plates or basketballs spinning all at the same time. J. would start crying so I'd run over and retrieve his dropped pacifier just as D. was asking for help with his pants. As I run into D.'s room to help him with pants, the phone would ring and, as I answered the phone, J. would start screaming again...and the iron was beeping that it was ready...and D. couldn't find a shoe...and...and...and... it really was quite comical. And, truthfully, I missed having adult conversation as we got ready as much as I missed the extra set of hands. (disclaimer: I know many women may go through this even when their hubby IS at home...I'm extremely blessed to have a hubby that helps out as much as he does. He is a TERRIFIC husband. I guess that's why it's that much harder when he's gone.)
Although I am saddened to be leaving our home here so quickly, the feeling I have here alone tonight reassures me that we're making the right decision.
I miss my hubby and will be counting the hours until Friday.
6 comments:
We lived that life (apart during the week, home on the weekends) for about half a year when B was just over a year old. It was HARD. But just like everything else hard we've struggled through together, it bonded us together even more firmly AND made us appreciate one another even more. We talk about those months even now and I can never help but give him an extra hug/kiss/snuggle and just soak him in to remind myself how lucky I am to have him. And he talks about how hard that time was for HIM, too, which is something he never really spoke of while it was going on (because he was too busy listening to how hard it was on ME!) I wrote about all this in this post, if you'd like a gander. Anyway, I seriously empathize and I will keep y'all in my prayers. If you need an extra listening ear or just a chat sometime, I promise to be right here for you, m'kay?
Hugs - M
I feel for you. My husband was gone for three months last summer and the lonely plate spinning feeling is dizzying, because he is also a helper and an adult conversation and a someone to be in that other half of the bed. Hope your week goes by smoothly and quickly!
P.S. I really like the "baggage" cinquain...
I know that ache of missing someone's pressence. I pray the time will fly by and this will soon be behind you. Look at all the good stuff that's been coming your way!
Oh, Katie, I hope the time flies for you. I bet he is missing you guys so much. It would be hard to be the one alone. Times like you're experiencing always make me marvel at single moms. And feel like surely I should be doing something to minister to them. It stuns me how different it is without my husband around.
Lotsa lotsa xoxoxox's. :)
You got a 9.9 in the Mommy Olympics Sunday morning :)
Your country is proud.
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