I'm a bit tired.
Anyone who has had a baby in their home understands the fatigue that eventually catches up to you from night after night of interrupted sleep. In the midst of the darkness that is early morning, my child takes it upon himself to sound the alarm: IT IS FEEDING TIME! No warning...no whimper or soft alert. No, this is serious business and I must be roused immediately. I stumble out of bed, tripping over a stray shoe or toy in my path, prepare the bottle and retrieve my child from his bed.
This used to be a time of tranquility. Remember my 3:37am post? "There's nothing I'd rather be doing t that time of the morning...so on and so forth..." Well, recently those feelings have given way to "oh, why can't I just get one solid night's sleep? One teensy weensy little night?" And the frustration doesn't limit itself to nighttime hours. When I hit the mid to late afternoon hours and my energy is particularly drained, a cry of discontentment is like nails on a chalkboard. I feel so guilty even admitting that! I have a second child! I prayed for this! It is a blessing! I guess in my hours of fatique-induced yuckiness, I am a little more aware of my impatience.
Then, my pal Melissa wrote this post today. You must check it out. OK, so it did make me feel this big when I read it but it also made me remember what an honor it is to GET to care for a child...especially the sweet, happy boy that God blessed us with.
So, check it out. Gotta go rock a young man now. Can't resist!
5 comments:
Hang in there, Katie. I know how hard it is when you are overly exhausted but I promise, it will get better. Keith will be home tomorrow night and you need to let him have some middle-of-the-night bonding time with Jacob! A couple nights of sleep this weekend will help you get through next week!
I have felt exactly how you have felt, and how Melissa has felt as well. It's a strange pendulum that swings daily (even several TIMES daily) in the life of a mom. An overwhelming gratitude and humility at being "the one" who can soothe that child like no one else can. And then an overwhelming sense of fatigue and responsibility at being THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SOOTHE THAT CHILD! :) I think both feelings are 100% natural. The amazing thing is, these kids grow up to be bright and beautiful, in spite of how nuts their mothers can sometimes get. ;)
**Hang in there!**
it is amazing how sleep deprivation can change a person! i became very irrational and could cry at the drop of a hat. hug him close in the wee hours, before you know it his legs will be dangling off of your lap :(
Oh, I have been there. And will be again, most likely.
Oh, honey, believe me, when the Virgin Mary had gone several months without sleep, baby Jesus's cries would make her get that stomach drop too.
We've all been there. It's no fun. But it doesn't last forever, I promise!!
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