Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Are You There Betty Crocker? It's Me, Katie.

I want to be good at baking. Honest I do.

You see, I have these grandiose dreams of me creating these scrumptiously beautiful baked goods that make people swoon. Cakes, desserts, cookies that melt in your mouth... but it ain't happenin' folks. And trust me, I don't use the word "ain't" without good cause so you KNOW it has to be bad.

Three o'clock rolled around this morning and the hungry cries of my 9-week old awoke me and, unfortunately, kept me awake. So, after I put him back down I decided to make my son's cupcakes for his school birthday party. Simple enough, right? Cupcakes from a box of cake mix. Directions on the back. What could be easier?

Um, lots of things, apparently.

By four a.m., I pulled out a muffin-tin-full o' cupcakes that looked more like muffins cause the tops had run over the sides. "I can salvage these," I reassure myself. Minutes later, I'm trimming the edges causing irrepairable damage to said cupcakes. I did try to ice one it was NOT A PRETTY SIGHT, MY FRIENDS.

So, I have some leftover batter and, since I resigned myself to the fact that I must now purchase (gasp) store-bought cupcakes, I'd get creative and make mini-loaves that I could then ice into a cake for the birthday boy. I can't handle cupcakes but suddenly I'm going to attempt a cake?

Mistake. Big mistake.

Yes. I took an uneven lump o' mini-loaves poorly iced it and then "spruced it up" with TINKER TOYS to look like truck parts. It is a sad, sad day in the cake world my friends. Wait til' the Food Network gets a hold of this one... there will be a new reality series called "Worst Cake EVER."

You see, I have a baby. And a house to sell and a full time job and...well, frankly, my level of creativity these days has gone the way of those 10 I.Q. points I insist I lost the day I became the mother of a newborn. It's not that I don't care. It's just NOT THERE anymore.

So, in the spirit of the fabulously effective cook Pioneer Woman, I shall document the glorious journey that resulted in my child's birthday cake:

Step 1: Wake up at 3:00am to do this:

Step 2: Take a box of this:

Step 3: Your sink will probably look like this:

(OK, so the pots were from boiling some hard-boiled eggs. Unrelated culinary footage)

Step 4: And you end up with this:

There you have it, my "I-trust-you-not-to-mock-me-in-my-Comments-section" friends.

Don't ask me why it needed a mouth. I was desperate. It was 4:00am. I can't explain my actions.

But you know what? He loved it.

Will the wonders of parenthood never cease.


Michelle said...

oh there is no mocking here...I needed two attempts to successfully bake a box mix for my daughter's birthday this newborn sleep deprivation to blame it on either!! Your son loved the final product though (i think it's cute too)--and that's the whole point, right?

Beth said...

What a cute cake! I love it! No mocking here.

MelDrop's Corner said...

oh my, that made me LOL!!! it's really cute and i'm glad d man liked it. :-)

Cindy said...

Ah yes, another thing to make you dear to my heart.

LOVED this post. You make me laugh.
And it is ADORABLE. No wonder he loved it. I totally agree it needed a mouth. What kind of truck doesn't have a mouth, really????

Anonymous said...

I've said it a million times before, and I know I'll say it a million MORE times...
Daniel is SO lucky to have you!!!
You are a genius! None of this 'no creativity' nonsense...if that's not creativity, I don't know what is?!?!
You're amazing! It's adorable!!!

Anonymous said...

You're a fabulous mother!!! Any little boy would love that cake!

Shannon P.~

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

Oh, honey, we all have to accept our limitations. Ours is baking.

Hey, I see you got some Dr Brown's - helping any?

Amber said...

coming out of "lurking" to say your cake really is cute! kid's aren't too hard to please, i'm sure he loved it most of all because him mommy made it just for him! there's nothing better than that! (and i hope you don't mind i've linked to you on my blog)

Anonymous said...

CUTE cake! I won't tell you about the banana bread I made and failed to include sugar. If I were to tell you, I could tell you all about banana-flavored cardboard, but I'm not talking, nope, not gonna talk about it.

On another note: I'm obsessed with Pioneer Woman! I can't believe we haven't talked about this.


MelDrop's Corner said...

jimmy thinks d's cake is awesome and he was sure that d train would love it! :-)

Sincerely Anna said...

Oh, this is a rich post! I giggled the whole way through. First, I think the cake is really cute. Second, your sink is too clean. And third, I'm now looking forward to what blog posts will come from 3 a.m. feedings in my future! :)

Cindy Edgar said...

Only you would make cupcakes at three o'clock in the morning...and then end up with an adorable cake!

thequeenmommy said...

Having just recently been a very sleep deprived mother of a newborn - I can completely relate. Only I would have found myself eating the entire remnants of the cupcakes in secret, likely to have never been this creative on any level thereafter. What a CUTE idea!!!

Momma 2 Beans said...

Hee Hee!! I made my way over here from Sincerely Anna's blog and I am oh so glad I did!! I have a 5 week old and it is cracking me up to read about your baby tales! I have not yet attempted to bake after our 3am feeding, but I am begining to wonder what I could get done if I started doing something while I was up anyway...hmmmm ;-)

maudie-mae said...

That's not a mouth!! It's the bumper!!!!!!!!

I can't make a cake to save my life, so don't feel bad. I've been married 30 years and that's one skill I reckon I'll never master.

Joanna said...

I think it's cute.

dewde said...

The dark thing lurking in the shadows... the one that haunts me at night in my sleep... you have given it... a face.

::: shudders :::


Jen Rouse said...

Hey, that's not a bad cake at all. I think it's quite cute.

Rebecca said...

I took one look at that cake and thought, "I bet her son loved it."

Then you said he did. Yay! :)