Breathing a Sigh of Relief

Today has been one of those days.

The dark sky loomed with clouds and it rained on and off throughout the day. Normally, I would relish this kind of day but my mind was twisted into knots-- one of which centered on my golden retriever Cassie and the lump we'd found behind her left front leg. We had not noticed the growth until we had her shaved for the summer. Knowing that goldens are predisposed to cancer, I made her an appointment for this afternoon and waited (not so) patiently for 3:30 to get here.

But it's not just me I was concerned about...my 6-year overheard me mention "the C-word" when explaining the reason for my trip to the vet and I was suddenly under an official interrogation that would rival any tense Senate hearing:

"I know what the C-word is, Mommy. It's cancer.
Does Cassie have cancer?"

"If Cassie has cancer, will she die like people do
when they have cancer?"

"Does she know what we're talking about?
Will it make her sad?"

"If she dies, what do we do with her body? And how will I
give her hugs and let her keep me warm if her body is not here?"

The last one got me as tears welled up in my eyes. I answered best I could and tried not to break down in front of him making the situation worse.

Jacob was somber as we waited for our turn to see the doctor and it seemed as if he were the one being checked out instead of her. The doctor came in, loved on her, evaluated her and then aspirated the lump to see whether or not it was something we should be concerned about. Cassie, unaware of the results we were waiting on, laid patiently on floor at our feet.

After a little while, the vet came in with a big grin and said "it's just some fatty tissue! Nothing to worry about! Cassie will be just fine!" Jacob, overcome with relief, dropped on the floor, embraced Cassie and just laid his head on her in silence. The doctor even teared up at that point and remarked about his obvious love for her. "You have no idea," I told her.

So even on a day of knot-twisted thoughts and dark, rainy clouds, we found a little bit of sunshine. Looks like the Cass Cass will be with us for a while longer and that is enough to brighten any kind of day.