I couldn't resist.
I looked at the clock and it read 4:18pm. Daniel's bus would be pulling up any minute and I was more than excited to hear how his first day of school went. But, I couldn't let his homecoming be just like any other day, could I? This was the First Day of Third Grade. A surprise attack was clearly in order.
I changed into a tank top and the bottom half of my bathing suit and took my position in the bushes at the front of the house--strategically placed next to the spicket. Do you see where I'm going with this? Oh yes. The boy that always seems to wrangle the hose from me at night and spray me was gonna get a taste of his own medicine. I was a woman on a mission.
About 10 minutes in, I got tired of crouching on my knees in a mixture of prickly holly leaves and bark and leaned against the side of the house to wait. I suddenly realized there I was, hair all tousled, white tank top, black skirt, sweat on my brow, leaning against a brick wall with a garden hose in my hand. I chuckled as I imagined I was posing for an Abercrombie ad (that would of course be shot in black and white). I wasn't a mother that had lost her marbles...no, no....I was a cool model for a teenage clothing line. Insanity is a beautiful thing.
So...4:20 came and went. So did 4:25, 4:28, 4:30 and 4:35. His bus always came around 20 after last year so my Momma-worry was about to kick into overdrive when I spotted the familiar golden yellow cheesewagon coming down the road. The lights started a-flashing and I dropped into strike position and waited on my victim to make his way up the long grassy hill that is our front yard. I slowly turned on the water so as not to call attention to my whereabouts. And I waited. And just as he crested the top of the hill I lept out spraying him the best I could as he screamed, dropped his backpack and darted about trying to avoid getting wet. The look on his face was priceless. He clearly did not know what hit him and I couldn't stop laughing. At one point he had the nerve to yell "is that all you got???" Oh yes he did. So what started as a surprise spray attack turned into a full-on water war right there in the front yard.
Yes, it's true. I probably shoulda had a plate of cookies ready and gently hugged him as I inquired about his first day. But, that would have been nice and normal and wouldn't have involved garden tools.
Where's the fun in that?