Gonna Give it a Go.....

OK... so another writer whose space I often visit in blogdom has issued a challenge!The May Day Weight Loss Challenge officially begins this coming Tuesday, May 8 and runs through September 18. You know me...I'm always up for a challenge. So, every Tuesday, I'll be reporting the losses (yay!) or gains (boo!) for the week. I'm so ready to FEEL better. If I think about it as soley a way to look better, then that won't be enough to motivate me. If it will give me more energy so that I won't be so out of breath every time I'm running behind my son as he learns to ride his bike... now THAT'S motivating!

My goals are as follows:

• Lose 25 pounds during the challenge
• Drink more H2O!
• Exercise at LEAST 3 days per week
• Bigger breakfasts/smaller dinners (sigh...don't. like. breakfast.)
• Fit into the green and black dress that has been hanging in my closet for the past 2 or 3 years with a tag on it cause I can't zip it up

OK...so there it is. I've put it out there on the beautiful world wide web for everyone to see. If that's not accountability, I don't know what is.

Also, I know there are several sites that I visit but never leave comments...feel free to leave comments on my Weight Loss Challenge (WLC) posts...I need all the encouragement I can get!
Go Katie Go! (OK, I think I need to go lie down for a minute. All this posting has really taken it outta me.) [grin]

This is a "scrapbook" of sorts of my recent trip to Banff
for our Mid-Year Conference... all the photos were taken with
a Panasonic Lumix digital camera.

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Scenes from Banff

Each morning, the sunrise at 6:15 was a sight to behold~~
muted tones of pinks and oranges peeking out
over the snowy caps of the Canadian Rockies...

(click image to enlarge)

The hotel was majestic...a castle full of nooks and crannies
and mysterious marble staircases tucked here and there...

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What a way to greet a new day...

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Scenery, Snowflakes, Slingshots & Sunshine

View from our room... Room 861 (click image to enlarge)

Such is the synopsis of this last week of my life...a week in which I was much too tired to blog even though internet access would have allowed me to do so. I spent the last week at the Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel in Banff, Alberta, Canada and it was a BEAUTIFUL place to be sequestered for six days.

The scenery was straight out of a marketing brochure...the window of my room providing a view so magnificent that I could have easily mistaken it for a painting hanging on the wall. The Canadian Rockies laid out before me...their snowy peaks beckoning me to ditch all event planning responsibilities and run to the hills...two large granite mountain faces framing the Rockies and protecting the scenic Bow River that snaked its way through the valley...

Each day that we were there was a glorious spring-like concoction with cool breezes and Spruce pines dancing in the warm afternoon glow. Then, Sunday morning we awoke to find no trace of mountains on the horizon. The fog had rolled in and we soon discovered what looked to be a solitary snowflake swimming in the air outside our window. Then, another. And another. Within 20 minutes time, a full-fledged snow storm had blown in and I was deliriously happy. I considered this to be the pinnacle of an already fantastic week. We southerners took delight in photographing each other as the quarter-sized flaked camped out on our eyelashes. Mule deer and elk grazed on the patches of grass behind the hotel as they turned from a brownish-green to snow-laden white.

All too soon, we boarded a passenger bus that carried us to the city of Calgary and onto the flights that would take us back to our homes. For me, it was a complete climate change as I read the weather forecast for an 85 degree day today. Armed with a hand-carved slingshot in my suitcase (which I found out was an approved "weapon" in the airline carry-on manual), I made my way home to my hubby and son. Upon arrival (at midnight last night) my son shouted "where's my surprise???" (Glad to see you, too) and I produced the slingshot which, as of today, he (thankfully) has not mastered yet.

Today was a day of glorious sunshine and summer-like activities. We practiced riding a bike sans training wheels and we played and worked in the flowerbeds. It is a day like today that reminds me what I love most about life... that familiar comfort of a little boy's laughter and the feeling that I am back where I belong this day.

There's nothing better.

Adoption of a Different Sort

I have another thing in common with my son. It just took a sermon to make me realize it.

Yesterday, after we took our seat in church, the title of the sermon flashed across the screen..."A Child Adopted." Oh my, I thought. Being adoptive parents, Keith and I automatically perked up and wondered how adoption would be woven in to the message.

The guest pastor was a young guy and, toward the end of his message, he spoke about orphans and how their lives are void of hope and a sense of belonging...how they must know that they belong to someone but the desire to be chosen is a constant emotion. He went on to to mention the conditions in most orphanages--a topic we're all too familiar with-- and I suddenly felt a lump appearing in my throat.

Having visited several orphanages during two separate trips to Russia in 2004, my heart still aches for the children "left behind." Keith and I both agree that if we were financially able, we would have adopted all 120-or so kids in that facility. There was the dark haired little boy with big brown eyes that sat next to Daniel and quietly sipped his soup...not quite sure what to make of the digital camera in our hands. Then there was "Vo-Vo," a friend of Daniel's that sat meekly on my lap...the caring touch of my hand seeming so foreign to him. Remembering the desperation of many of the kids with whom we came in contact, I had an urge to jump out of my chair and race to Daniel's Sunday school room and hold him.

The tie in was so apparent-- but yet, had been lost on me until that point:

Romans 8: 15......."You have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father."

Before Daniel knew we had chosen him, he knew not the unconditional love that comes from having a parent. In his heart, I'm sure he knew he belonged to someone...all the while living life the best he knew how. In fact, I would venture to say that he really knew no different...never knew that there could be love without limits, boundaries created out of care and compassion and acceptance that knows no end.

My relationship with my God is much the same. Before I knew Him, I never knew that my mistakes were forgiven simply because I have faith in Him. In my heart, I knew there was something missing...something more...someone more... but I continued living my life the best way I knew how. And yes, I really never knew any different.

But, I now know that anyone who believes in God, and desires to have a relationship with Him, will experience that same limitless love, and Biblical boundaries and, of course, an acceptance that knows no end.

Yes, Daniel and I have a very special thing in common. I, too, am an adopted child... a very thankful one indeed.

Sing...Sing a Song....

OK, so I guess I'm really enjoying the challenge of these blog surveys I have come across; only, this one is a great deal harder than the last time I bought a pillow. According to Big Mama, I am supposed to identify my favorite seven songs of all time. ONLY SEVEN? Seven hundred, perhaps. How in the dickens am I supposed to chop my favorite songs list down like that? I have at least 50 songs in every genre imaginable that I have tagged as "favorites."

Oh well, I'll at least take a stab at it for humor's sake. These are not going to be in any sort of order:

1) Fields of Gold as sung by Eva Cassidy... soothing, melodic and stirs in me emotions I didn't know I had.

2) Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol...my current favorite. Don't know what it is about this song, but I could listen to it over...and over....and over.... and I do.

3) Annie's Song by John Denver...yes, I said John Denver. Love him. Grew up listening to him. Who in the heck writes like him anymore? "You fill up my senses, like a night in the forest...like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain..." sigh...............

4) The Water is Wide by Sarah McLachlan, Indigo Girls & Jewel.... was my Mom's favorite song and, consequently became mine. The harmonies and the words...love. it.

5) Into the Mystic by Van Morrison... the soaring chorus of this song is one I must belt out no matter where I am. It's one I should not plan on listening to on my iPod in public. It could get ugly.

there's only two more.....? Nooooooooooo...I need more!

6) Chiquitita by Abba...risking all sorts of ridicule I decided to post this one. Yes, I am a nerd. But I adore this song. My friend Cindy and I can be seen riding down the road singing this at the top of our lungs...harmonies soaring and coolness quotient dropping by the second.

7) Tie: (see, I knew I could fit more in...) Amazing Grace (Chris Tomlin's version, especially) and How Great is Our God

whew! I may have to amend the list as new ones pop in my head... I didn't really even slip into my love of 80's music (Whoop, There It Is almost made the cut!)...there are simply too many to name. What are your favorites???

Friday's Feast: April 20, 2007

Another site in blogdom I've run across is Friday's Feast. It's just a list of five little questions offered up each week...thought it would be fun to join in. Here goes:

Appetizer ~ What is your favorite kind of bread?
It would be a tie between a doughy garlic knot dripping in butter and the yummy homemade Amish Cinnamon bread that my friend Deb brought me. Mmmmmm...I'm hungry.

Soup ~ When was the last time you bought a new pillow?
This one's easy. Last Saturday at the Dollar General in Hiawassee, Georgia. I forgot our pillows when we went camping and the first night "roughin' it" without them was not so good. Mind you, I remembered to bring everything else we could ever need (smores supplies being the #1 priority) But no pillows!

Salad ~ Approximately how many hours per week do you spend surfing the ‘net?
Between blogging here, writing a blog with a faraway friend, looking up meeting space capacity charts, pulling up directions, weather.com, CNN and reading numerous other blogs by people much wittier than I... too much time. I ain't proud.

Main Course ~ What’s the highest you remember your temperature being?
I dunno really. Maybe 102-point-something?

Dessert ~ Fill in the blanks: When I ____________, I _____________.
When I get mad, I cry.
It's really not something I like about myself. Can't a girl show a little moxy without boohooing?

Happy Dance

Happy Dance, Happy Dance, Katie's doing the Happy Dance.
Finally...the real competition can begin!

It Just Gets Harder

Taps is playing in the background as I write this. The sound is coming from the TV in my bedroom as images of the Virginia Tech massacre are rehashed.

This is when the parenting stuff gets "sticky."

My son is 5 years old and is ALL boy. He loves running around the yard in pretend battles and is very imaginative when it comes to playtime. He can take any inanimate object and turn it into a weapon..sticks, shoes, etc...

Anal mommy that I am, I have always been uncomfortable with this because of the type of tragedies we experienced this week. Trying my best to balance letting him be a boy with an imagination with not wanting him to think it's OK to pretend to be shooting people...it's really a tough spot to be in.

On one hand, if I spend too much time harping on it, I know it will only make it seem that much more appealing. "Ooohhh, I'm not supposed to be doing this...." The perceived "wrongness" of it makes him only want to do it more.

I myself am a real dichotomy... while I am an artsy, creative "free" spirit who wants to let my child express himself and be uninhibited, there is another more guarded, apprehensive side of me that seems to always be looking down the road. Is everything he does now a glimpse of what he will be like as a teenager? Or, are these actions just the actions of a little boy pretending to be a soldier or a pirate or any other harmless figure?

I know I may be taking this all too seriously. But I struggle with how to raise my son to be a gentle, compassionate human being without squelching the wonderful "rough and tumble" kid that he is.

By the way, I am STILL waiting on that parenthood manual to arrive...you know, the one that tells you exactly how to handle issues like this.

Anybody got one I can borrow?

Katie's Little Addictions: #3

I love, love, LOVEEEEEE this song. Ab-so-lute-ly love it.

Things that Make Me Happy...

Hearing the word "Mommy"--whiny or not, a newly opened box of crayons, enough paper in the printer, a husband who still loves me 14 years later, binder clips with magnets on the back, good guacamole, red balloons, acoustic guitar, smell of fresh cut grass, roller coasters, refolding a map the right way, being called "Aunt KK", laminating sheets, my son in overalls, chocolate brown eyes with long eyelashes, apples in a bowl, gerber daisies, mountain streams, clip art, post-it notes, strawberries with Splenda, spreadsheets with formulas that work, keeping green plants alive, campfires, John Denver music, the line from Pride and Prejudice "you have bewitched me body and soul...", getting personal mail, October, my automatic shower cleaner, the sound of the ocean, golden retrievers and tennis balls, singing Amazing Grace, Mongolian chicken, the window seat, highlighters, the word "serendipity," playing Phase 10, stars, old love letters, solving a Sudoko puzzle, grande white chocolate mocha add almond, smores, doodling while on the phone, the first notes of the Alabama fight song, Tom Hanks, Psalm 51, hot buttered popcorn, poetry and rain.

Dancing with God

~ a friend sent this email to me and it really
spoke to me...so, I decided to share it here... ~

* * *

When I meditated on the word Guidance,
I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music,
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back
or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.
Two become one body, moving beautifully.
Dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from
one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.

When I saw "G,” I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i". ;
"God, "u" and "i" dance." God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
that I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings
and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.
May you abide in God as God abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead
and to guide you through each season of your life.

It Doesn't Matter...

Yesterday I sobbed.

I know, for those of you that know me pretty well, this is nothing out of the ordinary. But this was different.

I turned on my trusty Tivo to catch the Grey's Anatomy episode that I missed last Thursday. But, much to my dismay, it was from a year ago. I then remembered I had not been watching it back then so it really was "new" to me.

One of the character stories was a woman dying of cancer only she hadn't told her teenage daughter. The daughter weaves herself in and out of the scene--beligerant and impatient--never knowing that her Mom will only be a live for a short while. Of course having lost my own Mom to cancer, this was particularly poignant for me...but it went beyond that.

One of the "hot shot" doctors was dismayed to discover that the daughter had not been clued in to the extent of her mother's illness. Without going into too many details, he pretty much chastised her for not being truthful. After the mother defended herself for "protecting her child," the surgeon quickly retaliated with "if you do not tell her and you die, then she'll hate you for the rest of her life." It was a gritty scene which contrasted the difference between "white" lies and brutal honesty. Finally, the doctor came in to discover the daughter in tears sitting at the edge of her mother's bed engrossed in what she soon realized was a deathbed conversation.

This is when I began tearing up. The mother was giving the girl all the pointers that she wouldn't be able to give her after she was gone. Topics of personal hygiene and dating were tossed about before she got to the one that really got to me.

You see, I have been struggling with motherhood and walking this most challenging of paths without my own Mom there to guide me. Granted, I have my mother-in-law and my stepmother but I'm pretty sure even they would acknowledge that somehow it's not quite the same. I need to know what I was like at my son's age and how she handled my own temper tantrums and stubborness, etc. Sometimes, I feel like the biggest failure in the world and long to hear that she went through the exact same thing with ME.

So, hence my reaction to the next scene. The mother reveals the seriousness of her illness and proceeds to tell her daughter, "now here's the important one...the one you really need to pay attention to... someday you're going to have a baby. And you'll worry about what to feed him, and you'll obsess about what school to send him to and whether or not he should take piano or violin lessons...but I'm going to let you in on a little secret...it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if your child is a concert pianist or a math genius...because all that really matters is that your child is happy........"

My sobs shattered the silence of the room and suddenly I could not contain my emotions. In recent weeks, we have struggled with some behavior issues and which school to send Daniel to...and her words could not have touched me more. It was as if my own mother was speaking to me with her hand resting on my shoulder. "It's OK, " I heard her whisper.

And suddenly, I felt that she was right.

A Boy's Thoughts: April 8, 2007

"Mommy, will there be wooly mammoths in Heaven since they're all "a-stinked?" (extinct)

Easter Memories

Easter is one of my favorite times of the year. The meaning has changed drastically for me through the years, but it will always serve as a time for renewal, hope and celebration.

Although I had a Christian upbringing, I never was exposed to a depth of knowledge that my five year old has been privy to just since coming to this country. His grasp of so many Bible stories--coupled with an insatiable desire to ask questions--has put him years ahead of where I was spiritually at that age.

For me, many memories come flooding back when this holiday rolls around:

• Shopping for white shoes and purses at Payless Shoe Source.
  
• Dying Easter eggs with the little Paas dye kit using a tiny bent wire with a loop on it.
  
• Dye-stained fingers and hands from dipping the eggs into a variety of containers filled with the dark pools of different colors....
  
• Mom playing "Because He Lives" on the piano before church.
  
• Digging for jellybeans (pink ones--my favorite!) in the bottom of my Easter basket.
  
• Chloe perfume in my Easter basket every year
  
• Ham, Mom's potato salad, green beans, deviled eggs...

The meaning of Easter continues to deepen as I grow older. I am grateful for Jesus and how He died on the cross to save me from my sins. I am such an imperfect person but realize that I am perfect in God's eyes because of my faith in His son. I am also thankful for blue skies and blooming lilies and azaleas and for little girls in brightly-colored Easter dresses. I delight in the eager "gotta-find-my easter-basket" anticipation of my five-year old son as we tucked him in tonight...I rejoice in the fact that I am alive today to revel in the wonder of His creation... jellybeans, egg dye, Bible stories and all............

Refuge

At 2:30 this morning, a wide-eyed 5-year old stumbled into our bedroom--jarred out of his own slumber by a loud clap of thunder accompanied by a "light up every room of your house" kind of lightning bolt.

"Can I sleep with you and Daddy?" he asked quietly.

"Sure, climb on in, " I reply with a raspy, still-sleepy voice.

Don't you miss the days when all it took to feel safe in this world was climbing in between your Mommy and Daddy in bed?

I sure do.

Amazing Grace

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior
Has ransomed me
And like a flood
His mercy reigns
Unending love.......

Amazing Grace

At the Movies: Premonition

I wish I had good things to say about this film...because I was so eager to see it. Unfortunately, that's not the case.

It was O.K.
It jumped around too much.
I was confused.
And then.....came the ending.

The only thing I can tell you is...in a quiet theater of bewildered moviegoers...I (not realizing the volume of my comment) shouted "You have GOT to be kidding me!?"

Save your moolah and make this one a rental. You know, when you can keep pen and pad handy to take notes, draw charts and try to figure out what in the heck is going on.

Farewell........

Just wanted to bid you all a kind farewell. I am most certainly not going to survive this allergy attack and wanted to let you know how nice it has been meeting you here in this lovely forum. Good night and good luck.................

OK, so I just wouldn't be me without a little melodrama but, the truth is, I am DYING here. Here at my desk in my home office where I mistakenly had the windows open earlier this week...enjoying the spring weather never knowing that pollen death particles were floating in unannounced. Never having dealt with allergies before, I'm sure I'm just not used to this feeling. But, my eyes are burning and tearing up, my head feels like someone has shoved a volleyball up my nostrils and I'm certain there is some sort of brick item sitting on top of my lungs.

As my friend Cindy commented, "you should never have to use your windshield wipers to get pollen off your car." But I have. This is ridiculous.

Here are the stats I found this morning (see, checking this blog can be educational):

POLLEN COUNT
0-30 Low
31-60 Moderate
61-120 High
Over 120+ Extremely High

Last Wednesday, it was 918...
A couple days ago, it was in the 2000 range...

Today's Count: 5,208!

The all time high is just over 6,000. Drug store allergy aisle, here I come!

Perplexed

Please tell me how in the WORLD three people can accumulate as much laundry as we do?

It's just not natural.

What's Going On...

right now: finished putting load of sheets and towels in dryer

supper tonight: beef brisket, broccoli casserole

good thing today: 4th grade girls engaging in Bible lesson

not-so-good thing today: sister Jenny crying as I left her at airport

listening to: NOTHING! My sound is broken on my computer! :-(

current addiction: (besides Ruby Red) ...Grey's Anatomy

Katie's Little Addictions: #2

yum.

Searching..........

Martha Stewart's show is on in the background as I work and she just made a shocking revelation. She is on an exhaustive search for the perfect scone.

The perfect scone?

There are many things in my world that I could do an exhaustive search for and the perfect scone is nowhere on my list. Topping my list would be a mate for the 237 socks in "sock heaven"--that basket in my closet which serves as a temporary (and sometimes permanent) home for socks with no match. I'd also search for the lid to the bottle of children's ibuprofen sitting in my cabinet as well as every nice black gel pen I've bought in the last year.

Let's see...as long as I'm searching, I could try and find my driver's license that has been missing since our Orlando trip. I'm sure it's in a pocket but, for the life of me, I haven't come across it yet. I carry my passport with me for identification but I'm sure a police officer would not accept that as proof that I am allowed to drive in the state of Georgia. Yes, I can go to Russia if I'd like but driving to Wal-Mart could get me into trouble.

See, Martha...you search for scones and I search for pens, socks and my driver's license. We're kindred souls you and I.

Night Owl

I've always been the one to fall asleep just about anywhere. As a child, it was face down in my mashed potatoes at the dinner table. Then there's the famous pic of me at age 3 sound asleep, standing up, with my head resting on the closed toilet lid. I sleep in the car the minute it is cranked (um, well, except when I'm actually the one driving...) and I can never make it through a movie at home without catching some ZZzzzz's.

So, what is it that has me in a pattern of complete and utter lucidity at 2:42 in the morning?! I could go downstairs and turn on a movie, read, organize something... I am completely awake. This has been a trend of late and it's an odd one for me. I'm not sure if working from home has something to do with it...knowing that I can stay up later but be able to work in complete peace and quiet...I'm not sure. But, whatever it is has my entire schedule and body clock going haywire.

What have I been doing since 11pm when the fellas turned it in? Well, my computer has been acting crazy and, upon further investigation I noticed the most aggravating jumble of twisted cords and cables I have ever seen. So, I have meticulously disassembled my entire computer, cleaned it, straightened out the wires, labeled them (yes, I am OCD and proud) and plugged everything back in. Obviously, it seems to be working fine so now at least I am going to bed with organized computer connections. It's the American Dream. OK, so not really. But it feels better nonetheless.

A Boy's Thoughts: March 14, 2007

As I was bathing Daniel yesterday, he commented (quite seriously, I might add):

"So, Mom, I'm guessing penquins only use cold water in their bathtubs, huh?"

March 13

Thirteen is one of those high-profile numbers. For some, it is considered unlucky. Ooooh, thirteeeennnnnnnnn...even hotels don't have a thirteenth floor because of the superstition tied to the number. For others, it's quite the opposite. Thirteen is a lucky number for them...a number to bet on, if you're so inclined.

For me, the number has never had much meaning. That is, until four years ago when it became the day my mother died.

Let me tell you, the significance of this day is not lost on me. But, I must say it is no harder than any of the other 364 days out of the year that I don't have Mom in my life. A random Tuesday in January might showcase her absence as much, if not more. You know, a day when I've had it up to my eyeballs with my son's incessant whining because I made him take a bath before breakfast instead of after...or when I hear a song that I know she would have loved...those are my March 13th's. The problem is, I never know when they'll be appearing on the calendar. I can't plan ahead to prepare to be sad or particularly melancholy. Instead, those days hit me out of the blue--with no warning or preparation.

If I had my way, I think I'd rather have this one day to grieve each year. One day to stay in my PJ's, watch sappy movies, look through pictures, listen to all of her favorite music...just taking time to wallow in my sadness. Then, March 14th would come along and I'd go back to my carefree existence without the daily reminders of how much I miss her.

But, it doesn't work that way and, to tell you the truth, I'm OK with that. It's the little remembrances that keep her memory alive through the years. It's tasting a lime popsicle and knowing how much she enjoyed them. It's looking at my hands and seeing the same lines appearing that I remember seeing on hers when I was a child. It's seeing a pattern in the sewing section of Wal-mart, the conglomeration of paint colors on my palette as I paint a mural in my son's room and, most of all, it's knowing how much she would adore him and the witty banter which has become his trademark.

March 13 is here once again. Yes, it's been four years. Yes, another spring is upon us and, sadly, she won't be here to revel in it. I get sad to think that the daffodils are sprouting up everywhere and the azalea buds are about to burst open and she isn't here to enjoy it.

But, she is here.

She is alive in the smell of the soup simmering on my stove and the neatly folded stack of dish towels on the counter. She's here when re-runs of Designing Women play in the background while I cook dinner or when I put yet another load of laundry in the dryer. She's alive in the words that I write and the songs that I sing and the sparkle in my son's eyes. Believe me, she's very much here.

Just curious...

Do you think male ladybugs get a complex about their name?

Hangin It Up

There's an old saying "hangin up your sword" which translates to giving up the fight or taking a good long break from something. Well, our little pirate did just that earlier today.

Keith was in the yard burning some branches, etc...when he glanced over to find Daniel in an interesting nap spot. It was only 11:30am but he hadn't been feeling good so I guess he settled into the first spot he could find:

(click pictue to enlarge)

The sword hanging neatly through a slot in the back of the chair cracks me up... how fitting for a tired pirate on a sunny Saturday morn.

Blog Fog

A friend of mine called the other day asking "why haven't you blogged lately?? what's going on???" While that made me feel good that someone besides myself is interested in the minutae of my life, I realized that I'm in a bit of a blog fog of late. Things have been a little crazy with me working two full time jobs and trying to be a Mom and a wife...and a daughter...and a sister...as well as a friend...and community group leader...yikes...

Everyone in life wears many hats, but I realized that I was so busy trying to juggle which hat I was wearing at any given moment that I was letting important stuff fall to the backburner. Maybe in the scheme of things a blog doesn't seem that important, but it is to me. It is an outlet that I look forward to...a way to vent, share, create... and let others know what's going on in my ordinary everyday world. Sometimes I get bogged down and don't have anything really enlightening to share so I don't want to write down the boring stuff. But, what I've realized, is that life is made up of boring stuff and that it's the cumulative boring moments that make life...well, not so boring. Have I lost you yet?

Anyway, I let go one of my jobs the other day and am trying to regain some semblance of order in my life. I am vowing (for myself if not anyone else) to record the little everyday stuff. As I look back on my days over the past year, it's fun to recall the pesky bird pecking on my door or a conversation that I had with my son that I might not otherwise remember.

So, hopefully, I'll be more consistent in my posting. I'm sure some day down the road I'll be glad I did.

What's Going On...

right now: 9:30pm typing a quick blog before watching American Idol that I tivoed (tivo'd?) earlier. Not too fired up. Just the guys. And they have given me nothing to get too jazzed about.

supper tonight: asian salad from indigo joe's. competed in trivia with my hubby (I narrowly lost--of course)

good thing today: buying a new crock pot (good grief that sounds lame)

not-so-good thing today: discovering the highway-robbery cost of replacing our carpeted areas with hardwood. Yikkkkkeeeeeeeeessssssssss.....

listening to: Grey's Anatomy mix on iTunes -- love me some Grey's Anatomy

current addiction: Ruby Red Sunrise Crystal Light

80's Music Quiz

Click on the pic below to take an 80's Music Quiz...

(note: my score was 128.5 --
I have no idea whether that is bad or good?)

(click on pic to begin quiz)

Same Ole, Same Ole

Maybe I do have adult ADD.

I have been in a funk this weekend and I think it's because I'm bored. I have come to believe that my life thrives on chaos and, when things become routine and predictable I don't handle it well.

Case in point--after the "hub bub" of the holidays, I made a journey out to Washington state for business. Then, it was a period of getting ready for Daniel's birthday and then a whirlwind trip down to Orlando with a change of hotel every day. Following that, it was playing "catch up" and sorting through 177 emails as well as mailing birthday cards, doing laundry, getting caught up on work and church responsibilities.

Now...we're back in the routine.

I have a great life...no doubt about it. But, the predicatability of each day gets to you after a while. Even the little things like making breakfast, then preparing a lunch and snack for Daniel to take to school, then working, then picking him up and avoiding small children as they dart in and out of the parking lot all while remembering not to go the wrong way lest I be scolded by the parking lot monitors...then we drive home, he goes down for a nap, I work more...then it's time to figure out what's for dinner... I know there are worse things in life than getting bored. But, I can assure you, if I had to work on an assembly line or a job involving repetitive motion, I wouldn't last a day! Event he silliest of things like taking a shower in the same place, using the same shampoo and soap, drying my hair, putting on make-up. Ugh....it's just the same ole routine that starts to get to me. Isn't that crazy?

Perhaps it's that I am a product of a family that moved so often that we'd joke "oops! the carpet's dirty, it's time to move..." Who knows? What is it about me that abhors the mundane while others take great comfort in predictability?

Anyone else share my disorder? :-)

Katie's Little Addictions: #1

Bath and Body Works Crazy Caramel Corn 3-in-1 body wash, bubble bath, and shampoo. Makes me wanna shower three times a day.

From American Idol last night... reminds me of myself when I was just starting out...

Waiting in Line...

At Disney last Wednesday, we waited in line for the Lion King show.
We stood quite a while so I decided to take some pics
of the scene around us. I'll start off with my favorite...
(click on any photo to enlarge)

Colorful spools of thread for hair braiding...

* * *
A boy plays patiently in the safety of his mother's stance

* * *

I liked the juxtaposition of denim and lace here... (the light was great, too)

* * *

Our new friend keeps an eye on us...

* * *

The clasped hands of the woman waiting in front of me...

* * *

Green crocs and butterflies...

* * *

The all-important sheet of show times and park hours

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Look at me...

...there has to be....something more than what they see.....

So I just finished watching the Grease and my dream part growing up...Sandy.

You know, I always wanted to be a Broadway star...well, also an English professor at a junior college...and a tennis coach. Oh yeah, and I dreamed of being the event planner for the White House. Then, there was that desire to be a photojournalist. Then I dreamt of owning a bed and breakfast. Perhaps I could be a florist? No, it had to be geriatric nursing. So, with that in mind I ended up in Graphic Design and Marketing and became a meeting planner.

Isn't it funny how life twists and turns and pulls itself inside out until you barely recognize the person you started off thinking you wanted to be?

I am content with my career choice; however, every now and then, I imagine myself helping a struggling student understand the rhythm of iambic pentameter in literature or jetting off to a remote photo shoot in Zimbabwe for National Geographic (or, better yet, blasting off to the moon on a space mission!) My interests are many and are so widely varied that it seems slightly comical that one person could have considered so many different career paths and yet end up in a completely different place.

Like some, I struggle with the dreams I never chased...their remnants floating in the breeze like the tail of a kite...still recognizable in the sky but giving way to circumstance, missed opportunity or perhaps something as simple as personal choice. I now try to weave those interests into my life. Instead of teaching English, I choose to pursue my love of the written word with this blog. I plant flowers in my own garden instead of creating FTD bouquets and I try to make guests feel as though they are visiting a bed and breakfast...even if I can't own one! As for the photojournalism, well, my five year old son must be the most photographed human being on Earth ( with the Pitt-Jolie offspring coming in a close second) and the astronaut thing will just have to go down as a childhood fantasy.

My life path is scattered with choices--both wise and not so--but they have all led me to the place I am today. I may not have followed the road map I originally intended for myself. But, let me tell you, it's been one heck of a journey.

Wisdom Beyond His 5 Years

Tonight as I glanced through the Valentine's cards at Wal-Mart, a particular one caught my eye. The title read "Happy Valentine's Mom" and the cover bore a sketch of a woman dressed in striped tights and an art smock with a bandana in her hair. On an easel she had sketched a heart and she was grasping an artsy paint pallette in her hand. Somewhat reluctantly I opened the card and read "thank you for always letting me know that I didn't have to be perfect to be perfectly loved..."

My eyes welled up with tears and I swiftly moved to the self checkout to avoid making a scene with my ill-timed burst of emotion. "You know better than to pick up a card that reads 'To Mom', " I thought to myself. Once I reached the car, I could no longer hold it in and wept for the loss I felt. Daniel asked, "Why is Mommy crying?" Keith replied, "She's just a little sad because she misses Grammy."

With the calm rationale of a man, Daniel's response was, "Mommy...do you remember when we sent that balloon up to Grammy as a present? Well, why don't we buy that card, tie it onto another balloon and send it up to her for Valentine's Day?" And then, ever so insightfully he added, "Don't be sad, Mommy. You know, we'll get to see Grammy again when we get to heaven. So, don't worry...it will all be OK....."

Am I not supposed to be the bandager of wounds? With his sweet words, my newly 5-year old son had found a way to soothe my heart... with a wisdom far beyond his years.

Birthdays Flying By........

2007 ~ 5th birthday party @ Chuck E. Cheese
(with icing all over his mouth! :-)

2006 ~ 4th birthday party at home...
visited Chuck E. Cheese on "real burt-day"

2005 ~ 3rd Birthday party at Crossroads Church



2004 ~ Celebrating 2nd Birthday with friends at work
(made a cake in Daniel's honor...taken 1 week before we met him)

A Boy's Thoughts: February 1

Proof that there must be a manual on "How to Bring Your Parents to Tears" and Daniel's learned how to read with out us knowing:

Keith and Daniel had a "guys' night" tonight and were enjoying just "hanging out" together. Apparently, something came up about adoption.

Daniel turned to Keith and said, "Daddy, I'm so glad you picked me."

Washington Splendor

The view from our window at the Morgan Hill Retreat
Poulsbo, Washington ~~ January 19 - 21, 2007

Winter's Afternoon

Soft sunlight slants
Illuminating the creekbed below
A sky saturated in blue
Awaits its promised visitors
Feathery white flakes
Falling in random patterns
And frozen droplets
Grasping onto branches
Like a lover's embrace

I wait as well

Eager to observe
Transformation of nature
Outside my window
Blue turned to grey
And bushes huddling for warmth
As I take it all in
By the soft glow of a crackling fire
Basking in my own lover's embrace

A Boy's Thoughts: January 28

As he was being tucked in tonight, Daniel asked Keith, "Daddy, when I have a wife will I live here with you and Mommy?"

Keith replied, "no, you will have your own house and family to look after..."

There was a pause. Then Daniel said, "But, Daddy, I sure would miss you and Mommy..."

(insert Mommy's heart ripping out of her chest here....)

Popcorn Chronicles--Part II

Another story my Mom shared that involves popcorn is this:

my Mom's fun-loving, crazy Aunt Hazel used to have a memorable tradition she shared with children that would visit her home. She would heat oil in a skillet, call the kids into the kitchen and proceed (without a lid) to pour kernels in...resulting in a "rainshower" of popcorn. Mom would smile as she recalled trying to catch the popped kernels in her mouth before they hit the floor...

It is my fondest wish to be the kind of person that helps create memories like that someday...

Popcorn Chronicles--Part I

My Mom would always tell me this story about being in line at her high school cafeteria...

On certain days, the lunch ladies would ladel up bowls of this bland, digusting-looking, greyish-yellow soup. In her words, it looked like "dirty-sock water." Then, to dress it up a bit she assumed, they would take fresh, hot, buttered popcorn and dump it on top of the soup. Problem was, by the time the students got seated, the once-appealing popcorn had evolved into a soggy lump of white floating precariously atop the tasteless broth.

Each day, she would beg the lunch lady to place the popcorn on the side so she could salvage some part of the meal...but, she refused...choosing instead to take great joy in sending the fluffed kernels to their certain demise.

Don't know why I remembered this today.

This is the

FIRST DAY

of my

SECOND YEAR

of blogging. . .woo hoo!

Silence is Golden

(written Wednesday, January 17, 07)

I had my doubts.

A week spent in a former outbuilding-turned office-turned guest house with no TV, no phone and no radio...I would surely go mad.

Well, it's my last evening here and, contrary to what I had anticipated, I am sad to leave what has become "my little haven."

Each morning and each evening, I am engulfed in silence. Outside my door lies a blanket of snow that seems to muffle even the most basic sounds of nature. No night sounds or tree branches crackling...no crunch of leaves or bushes rattling...instead, the air is still, muted even.

As hard as I try, it's difficult to recall my normal routine back home. Thoughts of alarm clocks, telephones ringing and the Today Show blaring seem so distant--far away from this room where all connections to the outside world do not exist.

With no TV, I pour through books and magazines.

With no radio, I sing songs in my head or even at the top of my lungs.

Then, for periods of time, I sit in complete stillness...part meditation, part awe of how enveloping total silence can be. Not even the flicker of my candle pierces the emptiness.

Tomorrow, I depart. A car radio once again pouring sound into my ears, I will drive away from this haven and venture back into a world of new reports, commercial breaks and a hectic, fast-paced schedule. And as my world returns to normal, I'll look back with longing at these precious days spent in a guest house in the middle of a snowy field in upstate Washington... this little haven where the "sound" of complete silence was a welcome retreat for my soul.

So much to blog...

so little time!

So, I will blog about my trip when I get back. This small keyboard on my phone is not conducive to in-depth blogging...therefore, I'll try to blog when I get back. It is beautiful here...snow everywhere...horses and barns sitting atop pastures painted white. Tommorow I head to Victoria, Bristish Columbia tomorrow on a float plane--straight out of Fantasy Island :-) I can't wait.

More later...

Katie

L.B.I.

Today, I am embarking on a lengthy journey and will be doing it just like in the "olden" days...you know, my Life Before Ipod.

It died. Kapoot. Nothing. No sign of life. I was listening to it on the way home from the store last night, bring it inside and poof. She's never come alive again.

Now, please let me clarify that I KNOW where this ranks on the scale of tragic historic events:

9/11
Tsunami
Katrina
Katie's iPod unresponsive .....nope, it just doesn't belong on that list.

HOWEVER, I must say that the overly emotive, highly demonstrative person in me is crushed to the core. A 5 1/2 hour flight seemed bearable as I constructed playlist after playlist of all my favorite songs. Hundreds of them at my disposal. Now...nothing.

Oh well. Maybe I'll depend on a good book or count the number of people resting soundly with little wires coming out of their ears. That will surely help me pass the time.

Oh well, it's probably for the best. I still hadn't worked out that whole "not singing while listening because other people can't hear what you hear" thing.

My seat mate on the flight will be relieved.

Head (North) West Young Woman

Heading out tomorrow morning to Washington state for a week of training with a new client of mine. They're headquartered in Port Angeles, WA which looks to be a mighty pretty place: http://www.portangeles.org/

From there, I hope to head over to Victoria, British Columbia for a day of exploring before meeting a good friend for a girl's weekend at a bed 'n breakfast in Poulsbo, WA.

The weather there definitely presents some packing challenges but I'm excited nevertheless.

I'll try to post from the road...have a great week!

The Sound of Silence

4:20am
can't sleep
pull back the covers
lightfooted I tread
into the silence

computer screen glares
as the machines hum and
whir.............
the faintest of whispers
electric conversations

boys sleeping soundly
the night air feels empty
foreboding even
so back to the covers I creep
to warmth and security and...........silence

Wired

iPod's playin
katie's swayin

cell phone's ringing
interrupts singing

depending on a PDA
to help me organize my day

wires hangin off of me
not much time to simply "be....."

To My Future Daughter-in-Law

I ironed Daniel's socks this morning to make them all warm and toasty because it was really cold outside.

I am so sorry.

At the Movies: The Pursuit of Happyness

(and, if you haven't seen the movie--yes, I know I spelled that incorrectly! :-)

Keith and I double-dated with our friends Jimmy and Melissa last night and THOROUGHLY enjoyed this movie! Will Smith is amazing--as is his real life son Jaden who also plays his son in the film. For the entire length of the movie, I wanted to hug them both, or help them, or give them our spare bedroom...something!

Many warned me this movie is "sad." It is...but not in a Schindler's List, Life is Beautiful, Saving Private Ryan kind of way. It's more a series of unfortunate events that lead to the homelessness of a brilliant man and his son. It is sad and there are parts where Keith thought he would have to mop me off the floor. But it is also one of the most uplifting/inspiring films I've ever seen.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this one... (I also highly recommend taking Kleenex with you, too. :-)

At the Movies: Night at the Museum

Keith and I took Daniel to see this tonight-- a really cute movie! Ben Stiller plays the "bumbling/insecure guy that becomes a man" so well (ala Meet the Parents).

The special effects are pretty amazing and the story line is basic but very clever. There were plenty of laughs and even a few touching moments believe it or not. Bottom line: Fun, creative, feel good movie...Daniel had a blast.

Destin, Florida

December 29, 2006

These photos were taken in Fort Walton Beach, Florida
during a Christmas week visit with Papa and Meme.

Santa Express

This was taken on Daniel's surprise trip aboard the Santa Express
on December 23rd. What a wonderful time we had!

Potential

beyond myself
somewhere
I wait for my arrival

Conversations--part 1

Daniel: "Can I lay my head on your shoulder, Mommy?"

Katie: "Of course!"

(Clad in dinosaur footed pajamas, he climbs in my lap and buries his head on my neck)

Katie: "My goodness, why are you so snuggly this morning...?"

Daniel: "Because you feel safe and warm..."

(We rock back and forth in silence for a couple minutes...)

Daniel: "Mommy?"

Katie: "Yes?"

Daniel: "Can we stay like this forever?"

Katie: "That would be nice, wouldn't it?"

(Daniel begins to think about the potential consequences)

Daniel: "Yeah, but then you couldn't go buy my presents for my birthday!"

(Realizing the non-gifting that could occur as a result of a too-lengthy snuggle, he quickly hops down and races down the hall singing...)

Moment over. It was nice while it lasted. :-)

2007

A fresh new year
a calendar full
of empty pages
fresh, untouched days
full of possibility

a blank slate...

It Happened So Fast...

After a relaxing holiday at home, it was time to hit the road to visit family through New Year's day. I had devised the best plan to surprise my sister who was stopping over at my Dad and stepmom's house in Navarre, Florida on her way home from Mississippi. She had been sad that she wouldn't see me during the holidays so I began plotting. I would rent a car last Tuesday (12/26) and Daniel and I would drive down to Florida and suprise her with gifts (and ourselves) in tow! Well, that did end up happening but the surprise didn't take place in Florida...it happened at 75mph on I-85 South between Auburn and Montgomery, AL when Daniel and I were involved in a bad car accident.

I had rented a Chevy malibu--a small/intermediate size car-- since I was only using it the one day and planned to turn it in the next morning. Daniel was in the back strapped into his seat watching a movie and I was listening to my iPod (my new love) and singing in pure contentment. The sun was shining, it was a cool, breezy winter day outside and I was on a top-secret mission to make my sister very happy. To say I was content would be an understatement.

Then I reached back to check Daniel's movie-- which was actually right beside me since the passenger seat was pushed all the way forward--and my left tires swerved over onto the "rumble" strips on the left shoulder. Realizing this, I corrected but the car responded much quicker than my Expedition does and I began to fishtail at 70-75 mph. The back of the car swerved left, then right, then my left side crashed into the guardrail causing us to spin around no less than 4 times before slamming head on into a concrete bridge support. The front of the car was ripped off and had apparently been thrown through the air and landed on the opposite side of the interstate outside the guardrails.

It all happened so fast and, after the first hit, the airbag exploded in my face filling the car with smoke as we spun. The only thought swirling through my head was "Daniel is with me and this is how we are going to die." When the car came to a stop facing the wrong way in the fast lane I tried to get out but had to kick the driver-side door open before running around to check on Daniel. His eyes were the size of saucers and he wasn't making a sound but, wehn I opened his door, he started screaming "am I dead, Mommy? Is this Heaven?" Those words sent me into hysterics, which made him cry harder, so I had to compose myself to keep him calm.

Onlookers stopped to help, fire engines, ambulance and police arrived and suddenly, we were in a swirl of flashing lights and people with gloves on taking personal information and asking questions about how it all happened. Strangers comforted my son as I tried to dial my husband's number and battle with Avis employees on the phone who were, let's say, less than concerned about our well-being. For a moment, everything went silent and appeared to be in slow motion. The lights, the gawking passerby, the strangers who had become angels and the car that had once held two highly contented people...now a crumpled mass with headlights dangling freely like a monster's eyeballs in a scary cartoon. It all became a little much and I sat down in the median and wept. It was more than sadness about the wrecked car or the spoiled surprise or the madness that surrounded me. I wept at the very thought of what could have been the outcome. How did we not hit any other cars? How did we not tumble end over end as we spun out of control at such at a high speed? How did we come out of the wreck with only cuts and bruises? The enormity of the "free pass" we received hit me at that moment. In a flash, our lives could have ended but they hadn't. The sheer miracle of it was enough to take my breath away.

We did get to surprise my sister as she detoured to come to pick me up at the scene. Ripped Christmas gifts in tow, we headed down to Florida as scheduled...just a little delayed and a little more battered than we had planned.

There are many things I learned on the side of the interstate that day. I learned that there is nothing important enough to distract you when driving and that spilled juices or movies skipping will have to wait from now on...I learned that college rivalries don't matter when a person who is wearing a sweatshirt from your arch rival school is holding and comforting your son. But, most importantly, I learned that, in the blink of an eye, life can be forever changed. My son and I are blessed to be here today and I take my awareness of that fact into this new year.........

Parenting Tip #5,642

If you discover that, unbeknowst to you, your already "spirited" four-year old son has been scarfing down chocolate-covered coffee beans at a friend's Christmas party, be prepared for behavior that closely resembles a drunk man on speed.

Lawd help me.

Ima Gonna Pump You Up

Went to the doctor today for arm pain and hand numbness. As suspected, I have torn a muscle in my upper right arm which cannot be repaired. It should be fine and heal within 4 - 6 weeks so mostly it's just a bothersome pain right now. But, as I was researching muscle tears on Google, I came across this fella (see right). Is it just me or is that photo disturbing on many levels?


But, as for my hand pain, here's the diagnosis:

http://www.handuniversity.com/topics.asp?Topic_ID=45

No big deal except I have to wear a splint that makes me look like a pro bowler at night. Woo hoo. Love is in the air...........

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I love Christmas.

For me, the promise of the holiday and all of the sentimentality and religious significance that this season holds is one of the reasons I look forward to December the whole year through. Hanging lighted garlands from the balconies, coming home each night down a street with houses decked in festive lights and the way the air feels as the excitement of Christmas morning draws closer. My son's ability to discuss the story of the Nativity and the sweet songs he sings about Jesus' birth lend a much-needed reminder of why we celebrate in the first place.

But, as I was reminded today, the most meaningful and exciting time of year can also be one of the most painful for those who may have fallen on hard times financially or, even more painful, lost a loved one--causing bittersweet emotions of sorrow, longing... A woman for whom our small group at church had been praying passed away today. At the young age of 45, she was already a grandmother four times over and was the glue that held her family together. Last month, her life was normal and I'm sure she was planning what to buy her grandchildren for Christmas. Today, she passed away around 3pm of complications from a cancer that spread rapidly through her body. How could she go down hill so fast...and, right here at Christmas...leaving behind a stunned network of family and friends for whom this holiday has taken a tragic turn.

I also found out that a 2 1/2 year old girl also passed away this weekend. Suffering since birth by an unkind disease that left her disabled, this angel is no longer in pain but has left behind a gaping hole of sadness in the hearts of those who knew and loved her. Likewise, I have been guilty of breaking down while decorating the tree or hearing a particular Beach Boys tune and wishing my mother were here so badly that I thought my heart would burst.

But, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the good things that God is doing in the lives around me. A close friend of mine got "the call" they had been waiting on and will be heading to Utah in February to adopt a baby boy when he's born. My heart swelled with excitement as I shared with her the joy of this special kind of "pregnancy"... and, as we wrap a special gift to present to her parents as an announcement, I smile as I think what a special Christmas memory this will be for their family. Then there's the picture of my niece as she grasped an ornament in her tiny little hands...or my son parading around the house in his Santa costume declaring that he's about to hand out the "first...gift...of...Christmas!" (ala Polar Express)

For many, this truly is the "most wonderful time of the year..." but, let us not forget those that may be a little sad and brokenhearted as well. May God comfort them and tuck in their hearts a peace that only He can give...

My Favorite Prayer

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God
That you are exactly
Where you are meant to be.

May you not forget
The infinite possibilities
That are born of faith.
May you use those gifts
That you have received,
And pass on the love
That has been given to you.

May you be content knowing
You are a child of God...
Let this presence settle
Into your bones,
And allow your soul
The freedom to
Sing...
Dance...
Praise ...
and
Love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

--St. Theresa's Prayer

Like Rain...

Blessings pour down
Like rain
Drops of mercy
Provision
Comfort

I am grateful.

Lingual Laughs

After waking up this morning, Daniel and I headed down to gaze at the Christmas tree. The season is flying by so fast, I don't want to blink and it's time to take down our decorations. So, we went down to the living room, snuggled under a blanket and sang Christmas songs.

It was then Daniel insisted on singing a couple of the sings he'll be singing for his Christmas pagent next week (a true rite of passage for parenthood I assure you). Two that he shared go something like this:

"Oh, come wet us adorn him, oh come wet us adorn him, oh come wet us adorn him, Chri-ist, the Lord..."

and, my personal favorite...

"Feliz Mommy-Dot, Feliz Mommy-Dot, Feliz Mommy-Dot...prospero ano felizi-dot.."

Did I correct him?

Not on your life.

In a Perfect World

...there would be no children without homes. But, there are. And, there are families like us who desire to build our family through adoption. Then, why is the process so arduous?

When we arrived at Daniel's orphanage in February 2004, there were over 100 kids who needed families. Many of these children clung to our pantlegs saying "mama" and "papa." I can't explain how heartbreaking it was. There were so many children we would have loved to bring home... but the process was so expensive that it made it impossible for us to do two at one time. And, now that we are looking to adopt a second child, we are once again facing those same challenges.

Why must it be this way for families who have no other option to become parents? This time around, we are going the domestic route and are waiting for a birthmother to choose us from a group of profiles. I must admit, this is not much easier. It may cost a little less but, now that our profile has been submitted, it is simply a waiting game.

But, knowing the gift that God gave us in the form of our son Daniel, makes the wait a little easier. We waited a long time for him and he fits our family like a glove. It may be a case of nurture vs. nature, but I marvel each day at how easy it is to forget that I did not give birth to this child. He is a walking, talking combination of Keith and I. Yes, I wish the process weren't so frustratingly long...but, I do know it is well worth it in the end.

So, we wait.............

Savage Morn

The dark grey sky paints a perfect backdrop
For the razor thin branches
As they are tossed back and forth
A steady wind gust barking orders at them
"Left! right! left! right!"

Leftover leaves are pasted on my window pane
Clinging to the glass as a last bastion of hope
Before drifting downward to join the others
Blanketing the ground like a fine Oriental rug
Woven from strands of dark brown and burnt orange hues

The sun is just starting to rise
Illuminating this blustery, savage morn
As the temperature drops, Mother Nature inquires
"Isn't this what you wanted?," she asks.
"Did you not complain about a sunny/71 yesterday?," she continues.

"Yes, Mother Nature," I reply. "Indeed I did."

Thanksgiving 2006

The turkey is roasting all buttery and brown
A blanket of leaves now carpets the ground
The casseroles are waiting for their turn to bake
Juggling these recipes...how long will they take?

The TV is blaring while our feast is made
Bands marching in step in the Macy's parade
Like a well-oiled machine, everyone's doing their part
For at 7:00am the cooking did start

Desserts waiting patiently for someone to taste
An hour has gone by, the turkey we'll baste
Must go set the table, the time's drawing near
How blessed I do feel to have my family here...

Basic Instructions

"Winter" as we know it has kicked into full gear over the past couple days. Today, the high today is forecast to be 49 degrees accompanied by a cold rain. Just north of here, there is a danger of flooding when the Etowah River rises above crest. Therefore, when I logged onto weather.com there was a FLOOD WARNING alert for our area. What made me chuckle was the last line. Now this folks is what we call your most basic of emergency instructions:

"ALL PERSONS WITH INTERESTS ALONG THE RIVER
SHOULD MONITOR THE LATEST FORECASTS...
AND IF YOU SEE FLOOD WATERS...
REMEMBER TO TURN AROUND
AND DO NOT DROWN."

Do not drown? Is that a command or merely a suggestion? Did I really need to be reminded NOT to drown?

Eva Performs--Autumn Leaves

"I miss you...most of all...my darling, when autumn leaves start to fall... "

Eva Cassidy ranks right there at the top of my favorite singer/songwriters. She lost her battle to cancer in 1996 at 33 years old so the precious few albums she left behind will have to quench my love for her music.

This song happens to combine two of my favorite things...Eva's heavenly voice and lyrics about my favorite season... autumn.

A Boy's Prayer: November 14

The scene: Daniel's bedside, Daniel kneeling, hands clasped, flanked on either side by me and Keith

Just when I thought his little prayers had given all they could, this was his prayer tonight. Keith nor I could contain our grins and our chuckles (which I immediately tried to play off as a cough!)

"Dear God,
Thank you for living in my heart.
I just ask you to be with all the people
that are with you up there, God.
And be with all the people here in jail
who have to eat broccoli and pineapple.
And, God...Christmas time is coming
and I want to thank you God for being
my best present. And please give presents to
other people that don't have any, God.
And thank you for washing my sins away.
And please help the blind men to see
oh, and the blind girls, too.
When I think of Christmas, God,
I think of you.
Thank you for sending Jesus to
die on the "cwoss" for our sins.
I love you, God. Hope you live in a lot
of other people's hearts, too.
Amen.

Oh, to have the unjaded, innocent heart of a child again.

The Blue Balloon

"I must have a scrap of paper in here somewhere," I thought to myself as I dug into my purse outside the appliance store yesterday.

Our son had been so patient...riding lawnmowers pretending to cut the grass, "cooking" us dinner on one of the many ovens we were considering and turning every knob in sight. Watching him pass the time in the Sears appliance outlet took me back many years to my own trips to Sears with my parents.

The scent was always unmistakable. We usually entered through the hardware department and immediately the smell of new appliances and plastic toolboxes would overwhelm my young senses. To me, it was a wonderland and I'm sure to a four-year-old boy it is even more so. I recalled the rows of neatly arranged socket sets adorned with red bows for the holidays, shiny red tool cases on wheels and the rubbery scent of bicycle tires suspended from racks in the ceiling. As my folks would talk over a potential purchase, my sister and I would play "house" and each pick an appliance for our new abode. I must tell you, watching my son engage himself in that same pretend world was heartwarming.

For my son's good behavior, and to ward off the onset of boredom, the salesperson presented Daniel with a shiny blue balloon. He proudly wore it around his wrist for the rest of the afternoon until it was time to leave. Now,I knew this balloon had a short life to live if it were to go home with us. So, I devised a plan. I began to scrounge around for a scrap of paper and a marker. I then proposed that we send the balloon on a journey up to heaven with a message to Grammy (my Mom). His face beamed at the idea and, although I knew it to be a fantasy, I was kind of excited myself.

Paper and pen in hand, I wrote a note that read, "To My Grammy With Love," and then he personally signed his name. We tied the note to the balloon and, on the count of three, 1---2---3... he released the blue balloon up into the air. A gust of wind swooshed it higher and higher as the clouds of an impending storm moved in. Daniel and I watched the balloon until it became nothing more than a tiny dot in the sky and then...it was gone. Surprisingly, not another word was spoken about the balloon.
That is, until bedtime.

Just when I thought he had drifted off to sleep, Daniel rolled over and said (in his sweetest, almost asleep voice) "Do you think Grammy liked her balloon, Mommy?"

My eyes welled up with tears.

"Yes, sweet boy," I replied. "I'm sure she did."

Preschool President

OK, I had my fill this season of political smear ads...but this one--for a preschool presidential race in Iowa--made me chuckle:



I especially love the "Please Do Not Eat This Ballot" phrase on the voting ticket.

Inspire Me

My mind teeters
On the edge of composition
Rocking ever so gently

Back and forth
Back and forth

Like a tiny pebble
On the moss-covered bank of a stream
Needing only the slightest nudge
To knock me into the creative waters
That are passing by before me.....

Poets

poets can build
galaxies from pebbles
and breathe the word of life
into brief glances...

--excerpted from "elaborate signings" by kenneth carroll

God

God whispers to us in our pleasures
Speaks in our conscious
But shouts in our pains
It is His megaphone
To rouse a deaf world
--C.S. Lewis

Random Thoughts: November 3, 06

~~We had a bye-bye tooth ceremony last night. Daniel named his tooth "Joe" and thanked him for living in his mouth for 4 years...[laugh]

~~It's amazing what you can accomplish if you dedicate 15 solid minutes to one task.

~~The peachy-orangey-red maple trees in our neighborhood have produced the most brilliant fall color I have ever seen.

~~It's kind of bittersweet planning a meeting in Hawaii that you won't be attending.

~~What a nice evening last night...curling up with hubby and son to watch Polar Express with a cup of hot chocolate...