Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Matters of the Heart

Many friends have inquired about why I've been so quiet of late. I'm thankful to have people in my life who care when they sense something may be wrong.

When I started this blog, it was simply a journal...a memoir of sorts for my son so that he could have a record of what his early years were like as well as his Mom's views on everyday life. I'll never forget discovering a tattered blue binder the night before my Mom's funeral. It was chock full of poetry she had written as well as the occasional essay on life in general.

It was like finding a piece of myself.

As I poured over the pages, I felt like I was learning things about my Mom that I had never known. She loved...she lost...and she had the ability to take something as obscure as a patch of moss on a rock and turn it into something beautiful. That's what I wanted to do with my blog. I wanted to create a journal of the obscure... reflections on the mundane parts of life that make up our days.

Then, I became consumed. I discovered other blogs and then linked to blogs off of those blogs...and, before I knew it, I had 40 or so (probably more) blog links on my desktop I tried to check everyday. It really got out of hand. I would get so wrapped up in people's lives that I barely managed my own.

Please don't get me wrong. If you are reading this and got here by linking to a link of a link...I'm glad you're here. As anyone who knows me will attest, I love people and sharing my life with others. But, I have discovered that a LOT of my time is spent on the computer. I do my work on the computer and then I find myself spending my free time on here as well.

I don't plan on ending my blog or forbidding myself from enjoying other blogs, either. But, what I have done is taken stock in my life. I have not felt well for a really long time. I don't get enough exercise. I need to spend more quality time with my son. Not just the "feed you, bathe you, dress you, do homework with you" time...but REAL time...Mommy-Daniel time. I want him to remember me as engaged in his day...not sitting at a computer all the time.

So, if I've been a little quiet, please forgive me. I will still post to maintain the original focus of my blog. I just won't be trying to win every bloggy giveaway ever posted and I won't be checking every blog I love EVERY day and sometimes multiple times per day.

I enjoy my time here...I just need to make sure it's not taking me away from what really counts. I know there are plenty of folks that blog and can manage their time appropriately. I've simply learned I'm not one of them. Not yet. But, I'm workin on it.

That's me...a perpetual work-in-progress!

7 comments:

Angela S said...

I understand how that goes. One thing to think about is setting up a feed reader. It cuts time dramatically. Google reader or bloglines will check the blogs for you and then when you want to spend 10 minutes reading stuff you won't have to hunt and you'll have it all at your finger tips.

Melissa said...

We love you! And totally understand. :o)

Girl Gone Wild - BibleStyle said...

...just another reason why I like you! You see things for what they really are and adjust as needed. Daniel is a very blessed little boy to have a mommy that not only wants to share her life with him through wrote, but also through love with physical contact.

Megan Cobb said...

I totally understand and relate to your feelings. I've been experiencing a bit of conviction in this area, as well. It's amazing how a change just in my attitude has brought about a change in the flow of my days with Bean. I hope you are blessed by your decision in ways you can't imagine. And I hope you are still around quite a bit as you are a great bloggy friend and I'll miss you so badly if you cut WAY back. :)

Anonymous said...

Well put.

I used to let blog reading consume me and my day. But, now I schedule my time. I have time for me. Time for each of my kids. Time for chores. Time for work. I have found that if I follow my schedule (and it's hard at first, but becomes a habit) ... I am able to have my cake and eat it too because I do not get distracted by other things. When my blog reading time is up ... I'm off the computer ... if I didn't get them all read ... well, they'll still be sitting there in Google reader the next time I log on. :)

Good for you. Both you and your son will benefit from your "time".

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

I have had to really examine the time I spend, too. It is easy to get sucked in; there are so many neat people out there! Do you use bloglines? It DEFINITELY helps me. It alerts me when someone has a new post and I can easily prioritize which ones to read first, etc.

I think your son will have a beautiful piece of you just as you received from your mom.

Nicki said...

Good for you--for keeping your priorities straight! I have started blogging for enjoyment-for myself-and fight everyday to make it last on my list of things to do. There are so many other more important things--kids, husband, school, house--I know that it's hard to find the time. Take the time--I'll read when you post. Here's to priorities.